The aim for working with the actor was to also use him as a script editor. I have worked alongside Brian Ralph (the actor) in my job and through discussions and email exchanges on this project he has developed a good feel for the character and the fake documentary if not 100% the installation piece as a whole. So I have been closely working on using him as a sounding board. Due to the lateness of the day in getting the script ready due to holidays etc it has only given me a week to go through it with him. I had got someone else to read it and they pointed out some issues but I really needed a collaborator and someone who understood scripts and acting to collaborate with. I am far too close to the subject and although I feel I know what needs to be cut I need someone to help me see the wood from the trees. It will also be good to get a fresh perspective on the harnessing of all of my research and writing and see what they feel the hot topics, interesting information and hooks are and what is surplus to requirements, repeats itself, does not drive the story forward or inform, educate and entertain the audience.
I have also decided to pursue the idea of stripping out some of the facts, exposition science and arguments as they do not sit well in the piece. They end up being too fact, preachy, statistics at times and boring and will lack some of the drama they are designed to have and possible lose the audience. So they will be used as new additions to the installation and work with the other video elements. These will be a mini Vlogs (Video Blogs) as mentioned in a previous post that Ben would have put up on his Blog and also online youtube etc to get his message out to his audience. It will basically be him selling his cause and possibly the organisations manifesto directly to the audience breaking the fourth wall.
I have however whilst earmarking some of the areas I think could go from the doco script and instead be used as Vlog posts left a lot of them in. I want a second opinion as to which could be used as Vlog posts and which could stay within the script as some stats, data etc will be needs to tell the story and establish bens arguments and credentials as a climatologist.
As a refresher of what the documentary shoot has to do and the role it performs in the whole piece and how the Vlogs and manifesto and issues that Ben will be campaigning on through them will slot together. In order.
1: TV News Piece (3-4 mins)
The role this will serve is a good set up for the video content.
2: VLOG (1-2 mins)
3: VLOG (Addressing issues)
4: Documentary Interview (9-10 mins)
5: VLOG (1-2 mins)
The issues we discussed are all listed here and I was aware of most of them but as I mentioned needed fresh eyes to help me to solve. and we needed to work to solve. Underneath are all areas to work on and develop for the future.
- The script was far too overlong. Currently by nearly 50%!
- The script was far too wordy and in places was not written in normal speak but film speak. As
- Lots of shoe horned in exposition.
- Far too much in the way of data, statistics. Will lose the audience and very hard for an actor to deliver.
- It is a little bloated in terms of story-telling. What exactly is does the piece need to do individually and in the context of all of the other elements of the installation?
- A little too much elaborate and flowery dialogue. Keep a few zingers
- Needs more scene descriptions.
- Need to see what I can not SAY but get Brian to ACT!
- Try to add more light and shade, serious and FUN if possible. make sure character of Ben is likeable AND passionate not just tub-thumping.
- In future develop the script much earlier and give the actor more time to learn.
The meeting lasted all day (7 hours) and was hugely productive.
No comments:
Post a Comment