SIBLINGS TEST 1: OWN REFLECTIONS

I have completed a first version of my "Siblings" piece for the critique this Thursday. It will not be able to be screened as it will finally be on three large screens due to time factors but does give a flavour of what I am aiming to achieve. There are real concerns over some aspects of it though and my overall feeling is that it is a little too obvious and ham-fisted in trying to get my point across due to some of the techniques used.

I will attempt to outline what I feel are the the positives and the negatives below before I get some tutor and peer feedback on Thursday. I am going to not make any changes until then as I am really interested to see what others will find of my work though and if our pros and cons tally...

• The footage of my sons I feel is working and the interplay between the three screens and sense of fun, humour personalities and individual identity of their elements is working.
• The breaking of the 4th wall and subversion of the typical documentary talking head seems to work especially with the boys bouncing off of each other.
• The mise-en-scene of a plain background and simple 3 point lighting is good as it does not detract from the main subjects. My wife had concerns about the boys appearing to be naked but i quite liked the way you could see physically how they were different. T shirts could be considered though either plain white or their favourite colours orange, blue & green.
• The comments by parents is simply not working. I think I was trying too hard to show off a range of skills by incorporating the prototype animation and it is not needed. It was a way to be able to avoid tricky ADR and lip synch with the boys and did get around this but I feel that this is necessary. The aim was to show them as a sort of vibrant cartoon and as an almost Pop Art representation of them put together by both parents but it does not quite work!
• The comments by psychologists is even more heavy handed. The computer voice and pixelated b/w image stuffing the clinical points down the audience throats. MUST be more deft and subtle.
• Could possibly include more opinions of the boys from other sources. Add grandparents, teachers, aunts/uncles etc.
• Could include clips to illustrate what they are talking about, either archive or GV's. May really step out of the mood and tone created but could be playfully included to subvert traditional documentary codes and conventions.
• Could possibly move the boys around in the screens to be more playful with the audience so they do not each have a screen and only appear on that but move about re-ordering.
• The transitions between the statements could be re-considered and possible dissolves to blend the boys through each other.. The lack of editing does seem to work and I guess titles and on screen captions could be considered in between the  
• Moving forward in my opinion the parents and psychologists thoughts do need to be lip synched to the boys lips moving so it is their faces but NOT their voices. This will mean removing the animation and pixelated aspects and the shots all looking the same. This will also add a sense of the uncanny and possibly disturbing and confusing audiences a little.